Two things used to get me into consecutive discussions with my teachers in High School.
One was the compulsion to dissect works of art. I never quite got the purpose of breaking down a poem or any other form of literary art into its independent bits and pieces, creating names for its format and grammatical constructions, imagining the “mathematical” logic of why a long gone writer wrote what he or she wrote the way he or she did it.
Why did everything have to be formatted into boxed pieces of understanding rather than appreciated uniquely by each reader who could then go on into further expanding the initial creation through new formulations of his or her own?
And the other was the constant need for “references”. It never sufficed for one as a student to formulate a postulate and explain why. It had to be backed up by someone else’s formulation in order to be considered valid or valuable. There always had to be someone who had said this or that which related to what we as students were trying to propose. Otherwise it was worthless.
I used to ask myself: but what about such and such author of one theory or another? They had no one to quote from, to refer back to, because they were the creators of that postulate in the first place! So why could we not be formulating from scratch?
What was the value of innovation, after all?
And as I went on into University the issue persisted. And long after, to this very day.
Now I realise why. I was definitely born to be a pioneer and that lead me to never be able to conform with not being allowed to develop my own critical thinking and creative genius. However, it could not be squelched, no matter how hard the institutional systems tried to format my reasoning.
Oh yes. I have always enjoyed learning about the pioneers in all sorts of different fields. Be it philosophy or physics, or other sciences, or history, or literature and other forms of art, geography and so many more subjects. Actually, come to think of it, it is not the subject itself but the spark of enthusiasm that ushers a creation forth into reality - no matter what the field of expertise is. The curiosity. The inquisitive spirit. The persistence. The resilience. The discovery. The aha lightning bolt inside. The lateral thinking. The search for another way. The excitement of creativity. The magic of imagination. The breach of new possibilities. The outrageousness. The boldness. The grit. The vulnerability. The flexibility. The adaptability. The solutions. The courage. The stubbornness. The trust in one’s intuition. All of this and more fires me up and makes my heart beat wider.
Even as a kid I was constantly submerged in an ocean of adaptability that required me to become proficient at navigating change.
Having been born in an English speaking country in Africa and then moved to Italy at the age of 6. Entering primary school “cold turkey” - knowing zilch about the language and feeling such peer pressure that learning it fast became my top priority and then again in Portugal at the age of 8, directly into 3rd grade. Learn or be made fun of every single day. And so I became fluent in no time - not only in the language but in the ways of each country. At the same time being made to learn French and German in order not to have too much free time… And again, I learnt, adapted, developed my own coping mechanisms, all of which gave me extra leverage to think out of regular boxes.
At home I needed to learn how to fend for myself early on, as my then single mum spent days and nights at work or out with her new friends, her herself adapting to her new realities. She could not handle much more.
I guess pioneers come in with a kind of plan to have to develop certain skills early on so that they can grow bigger than their years and make room for the more they are to venture out into later on.
At the time it was pretty hard, but I now can feel only gratitude for all of the experiences that pushed me off each cliff of uncertainty.
And I remember also the fact that I was an only child and spent huge chunks of time alone, even as a small child. Yes. Of course it felt lonely. Fortunately so. Because had I not felt so empty and lonely I would not have been so seriously pushed to find ways around this and especially to dive within myself and discover my inner resources which ultimately resulted in me falling in love with the Essence of me and then realising I did not need to make an effort to find anything any longer as I had found all that I could have ever possibly dreamt of or wished for. Surrendering to my Soul became my big Yes and thus all of the lost children inside of me, form this and other lifetimes, could find the Home they had been searching for all along.
Further on it became clear that I was to walk alone many times on the path of new discoveries. Yet alone no longer meant desperately lonely. It simply meant I had to wait. Being the front runner, often times it has taken many years of waiting for others to come along and join me. And in the meantime I have played and enjoyed, sometimes felt frustrated but never bored. Life is so generous, after all. There is no lack of entertainment.
It has indeed been a lifetime of the unprecedented, for me. Never stopping in the face of each impossibility. So many times have I burst through it with a big bang. Broken the wall. Blown the roof. And gone ahead into new territories.
The fact that I don’t see things like most people around me, gives me the viewpoint of an eagle over vast expanses of landscape. This has its perks and also its drawbacks. Being able to see someone’s ultimate potential and yet having to witness their self-destruction, is not exactly entertaining. It is as it is. And in Compassion all is well in all of creation. But I am also in Human form and know about the ways of the world all too intimately. So I generally find my entertainment with practicalities of life, rather than people and their stories. Though I do interact and even work with many people and feel so honoured for the abundance that that entails. Each one is literally a walking, talking treasure chest.
Expanded vision also gives me the chance to tap into unseen potentials and explore them, taste them, feel them. It gives me a kind of unbridled knowingness that anything is possible, though of course within the somewhat limited context of physicality. Mmmmm… but it is not as limited as it seems ;)
One of my most precious discoveries is no doubt that it is possible to live without rage, anger, hate and fear in the background. Without a lurking darkness never to be fully addressed. Without noise inside. Without uncertainty of one’s worth. Without need or lack. Without doubt.
Does this mean that I am always happy or that nirvana is a permanent state of bliss?
Well no. Not in the airy fairy common sense of it.
Happiness is an elusive carrot. It is a permanent state of fulfilment rather. A state of contentment Not an everlasting smiling idiot!!!!
We tend to have this childish idea that transcending the illusion of separation means one will have no more human challenges and be happy go lucky for ever after.
Now it is true that bliss is the underlying tapestry of our inner world, when nothing more resides in the darkness - in other words, nothing more is hidden in unacknowledged pockets of “unacceptable”. And it is true that this can be called happiness.
But it is not true that remaining amidst a 3rd dimensional reality with a physical body in a human experience does not hold its challenges. They are simply not of the same nature as for those dealing with anger, anguish, fear, doubt and so forth.
You see, the point of perception changes. And that is everything. Being able to perceive reality in endless new ways and allow for endless new possibilities creates a state of ease and grace that flows in the unknown of each breath. Because in all honesty, nothing is certain until it actually happens. However, trust in the Divine Intelligence that orchestrates existence from the raw material of our choices, our allowing of all of this in Human form - energy at the service of the consciousness we are allowing ourselves to unfold into - is a certainty. A force to be reckoned with. The birthing ground of literal miracles.
Once life is not commanded by adrenaline driven survival, it metamorphoses into a discovery. A permanent one. And this is the landscape of pioneers. Pioneers of consciousness. Pioneers of all things human and divine.
Walking on the edge of new frontiers on a daily basis and breaching them to create yet more new frontiers is not for the faint hearted. It is intense. It sometimes gets messy. It is definitely challenging. Not in emotional ways, but in unwavering Trust. Resilience. Compassion. Acceptance. Flexibility. Adaptability. Hmmmmm but it has such a sweet fragrance and a rich taste. It is like constantly setting foot on unexplored paradises. Breathtaking. Unbelievable and hard to conceive and yet so unmistakably real.
It is strange to me that people don’t realise none of them are normal - even when trying to be and then feeling themselves to be different. The thing is - there is no normal! It is a fabrication of the Mind. If there is any normalcy at all it is that of uniqueness. No two beings, no two things are the same. Actually sameness can only be achieved through mass production in factories and even then if microscopically observed I believe there are differences in every single seeming equalness.
It is, however, much easier to aim for following a robotic set of normalcy than venturing deeper into oneself to discover the whole range of difference that is at the foundation of each one’s make up as a Human Being. Fortunately… or rather hopefully - animals, plants, minerals and other natural forms don’t have to deal with these issues. Phew! What a sigh of relief.
But… and there is always a but. Or not. Well, but nature does respond to Human Consciousness and it does experience distress as a result of the normalcy neurosis and all other strains of neurosis. So it does matter for the balance of the whole ecosystems of Earth that we do have the courage to explore ourselves. And this has been my journey all along. To discover my abnormality and allow it in all of its glorious uniqueness.
In these most recent six months I have been undergoing unprecedented stretching. You maybe have been wondering “Where are her newsletters?”, and the live shows and all of the sharing that went on previously. Well it is on standby so that I can have time to settle into my new frequency. It is basically like living in a smaller home and building a mansion and all of that which goes into that and still, then, adapting to its enormity.
Untapped new capabilities, possibilities and explorations which had never been attempted before in this reality. This is what I have been walking into and creating more of as I settle into this new expression of me through the physical form of the humanness I am so blessed to experience.
As I have been lead to expand more deeply into Compassion towards the darkest depths available on this planet, so have I stretched into more of the higher frequencies of what we generally call Light, creating a much much wider vessel of balanced fusion between these complementary forces of existence. It has been so demanding, so all-encompassing, that I have not had the space or even the capacity to do anything else but merge sometimes gradually, sometimes more abruptly, into these new frequencies, soaking them into my entirety as a human being.
I need to adapt to the world and the world needs to adapt to me, so to speak. And this requires me entirely.
Why? Well, because it is about being so totally grounded in the physical that my allowing of this new harmonious blend of Light and Dark can go further than it has ever been attempted before for us, here on Earth. It was not available prior to this time. The body would have simply disintegrated. But now, after Heaven’s Cross and so many more unfoldments at so many more levels we don’t need to know about, it has become possible to experiment a grander picture - an unprecedented balance.
All because though Darkness is at its highest peak ever, here on Earth, so is Light and thus the possibilities of materialising higher dimensions here and now are beyond all they have been.
I will definitely be sharing more about this in the coming months, but for now there aren’s many words to put to it. It is so new I find it needs more time to settle and still expand a bit more into the physical existence of Earth itself, and then I will be ready to share this newness and how it has come about.
And to finish off, my dear friends, may you venture into all of that which needs to be addressed within you with unabated courage and determination, for this and only this can ensure everything else you have ever dared to dream possible. Remember that as you have dreamt it, it is yours to explore and bring forth, for each one is the pioneer of their own dreamscape into reality.
Reality here, on Earth, I mean. For why else would your Soul have chosen to create a Human facet? To experience itself on this plane, in incremental proportions of wholeness. That is why. Accessing other dimensions, higher octaves of consciousness and so on, only serves the purpose of bringing it all into this life form that you are now. Wanting to be somewhere else, be it a dimension, planet or sphere of consciousness (like Theos) is but an attempt to escape this journey, thus perpetuating the impossibility of transcendence of this earthly realm on and on. Bringing it all here is the challenge and the gift.
For those who have the sense that this is their last lifetime, it is one thing to clearly feel it, even knowing that you might come back, yet not with the prior limitations. It is another to feel this same thing, that it is one’s last lifetime, because of being fed up, frustrated, in despair with being Human, achingly longing to get rid of this seemingly unending ordeal of lifetimes on Earth.
And even once one has fully merged with Soul, which happened to me in 2013, it is by no means and in no way the end of it. It is but the beginning of a whole new journey where the more one allows, the more of all that one is, wide and far, can collapse into cohesion within this very reality, in physical form, as a human being. Living other dimensions in regular day to day life. It is literally the alchemy of adapting this reality, creating space outside of linear time, so that form can encompass much more.
The Light Body and its expansion is a natural consequence of our continuous fusion with our Beingness into our Humanness and our reality, therefore, adapts itself to this expanded frequency. This fusion is a consequence of merging all of that which we have experienced, in this and all other lifetimes, Light and Dark.
This is easier said than done, which does not discount the fact that all needs to be integrated into one harmonious whole. Any nagging feelings that there is still something missing simply mean that there is still a part of oneself (parts eventually) that resides in the Darkness. In other words it is unknown to oneself because it has so far been unacceptable. So acceptance is the key here, to embracing the higher and the lower frequencies beyond separation, into the zero point of balance where duality meets and implodes.
Each one of us is such an endlessly abundant treasure of discovery to oneself and to the entire fabric of existence! In this resides the ultimate necessity to honour one’s magnificent uniqueness.
So thank you a million times for allowing yours, one breath at a time.
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