The moment
you achieve your aims you will want more, and more, and then more and more and
if by any chance you stop and feel yourself you will feel lost and empty and
you will question yourself: What for? Why am I doing this? And you won’t know
the answer. And you will fall into a deep black hole of emptiness, not knowing
why you are here or who you are.
Maybe, in
that moment of deep and dark despair you will wake up and realise you came here
to BE, and you will let go of everything you thought you were and needed and
you will surrender to all that you are, finally staying at HOME, HERE, NOW, in
you, with you, no longer seeking or striving. And then you will know
fulfilment, you will BE and you will LOVE.
Then you
will stop using your creative power to seduce and manipulate, using and
abusing, being used and abused, struggling and fighting and you will decide
between fighting against who you aren’t or cooperating with who you are. You
will stop running away from stillness and you will embrace it like a tired
soldier, finally back from the battle, sore and forlorn, longing for peace and
then you will see there is no separation, nothing to fight for or against,
there is nothing to achieve, there is just this infinite pool of Isness where
all resides and nothing remains, boundless in its vastness, endless and
complete.
Maybe one
day, if you have the courage to let go and fall into the arms of God, then you
will see that that which you call God and have been angry at for abandoning you,
was just you pretending not to be the God that you are, an infinite speck of
Isness that is all there is to be, that has all there is to have.
Then you
will not have to go anywhere to seek love, to seek wealth, to seek
understanding, to seek peace, to seek home. You will BE it. You are it. You
have simply forgotten.
Maybe one
day.
Then there
will be nothing to hide, nothing to hide from, nowhere to hide and you will
stop postponing being whole for a later time that does not exist. You will stop
not existing here. You will see there is nowhere else to be.
Don’t worry.
Meanwhile you have lost nothing. There was never anything to lose… or win. It
was all just a game of loss, heartbreak and pain and though it seemed to be
real it was never true. It was just an illusionary lie you told yourself so
that you could experience not being who you are – creating complexity to forget
simplicity.
Then you
will find that which was never lost. It was you who was lost. And you got lost
on purpose, just for the thrill of finding yourself again, but eventually along
the way you forgot that’s why you got lost.
Maybe one
day love will beat stronger in your heart than fear in your head and you will
stop, take a deep breath and remember the truth of who you are.
Well you can
come back home now. You can stay here, now, and let you love you, let me love
you, let you love me, let us be ONE.
Meanwhile I
will be here, HOME, always, all ways, patiently breathing, just being, knowing
you are me, longing to be whole with you. Patiently waiting for you to invite
me to dance as I have invited you, and then you shall become the dance. Life
shall be allowed to live and we shall blend. I shall be here, longing for you
to listen to my breath, to wake up, to live, to love.
With love,
Your Essence
by T. C. Aeelah (InPassion Publications)
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