The Gift that keeps on Giving

There once was, and still is and shall be, this bold Soul that goes by the name of Aeelah, who became enamoured by the exquisite sensuality of a place called Earth, though this was not the first planet She had inhabited. Nevertheless, it became a seductive exploration.

Alas, Earth was a unique planet which provided the possibility of knowing oneself in reverse, through something called duality, where an illusion of separation was created by providing the Soul with a Human facet that would experience all manner of possibilities, oblivious of its true infinite nature so that what is commonly called Shadow or Dark side, could be taken to further reaches, providing that which is commonly called Light with a much grander landscape to come to Be. This would be achieved through slowing down the frequency of one’s formless state, into a tangible world of form, where everything - or almost everything - could be seen, touched, smelt, heard and tasted in a vessel called physical body, and sensed through feeling and emotion - a very specific asset only to be experienced on this magnificently colourful planet Earth. 

The illusion was simple and infallible. In other words, it would be impossible for one not to sooner or later remember who one truly was, because one’s true nature cannot be foregone - only covered up temporarily, which to the Human could seem like forever, but to the Soul was a mere ripple in its endless ocean of experience. 

As Spirit already was All there was to be, through this reverse experience of itself, it could expand the nature of infinity beyond what had been knowable thus far and there was no knowing where, how and what would be finally achieved by this as the Human facet was given the boon of Free Will, which meant there was no limit to what it was allowed to create, uncreate and expand into. 

For eons and eons of time Aeelah came, over and over again, experiencing all manner of heights and depths, from Dark to Light and back and forth. Through losing Her Mind to being a Master, from pauper to king and queen and everything in-between. From warrior to slave, vanquished and conqueror, the wise lady in the woods, the wizard, the sage, the druid and the guru, the thief and the murderer, the rapist and the saviour, the leader and the lead, the priest, priestess and whatever other spiritual denomination one can think of… Swords, fire, blood, sex, tears, laughter and bliss - She, or He, no matter what one would like to qualify this being as (but since she is a She in this lifetime, let’s keep it as She for the sake of simplicity in words) - She had lived it all for so long that time faded into the immemorial recesses of ancientness. 

Until She came to a crossroads - a time She had been waiting for whilst diligently entertaining herself as She waited. The time had come. Finally. And the crossroads was the decision to make this her final lifetime on this beloved planet, stepping out of the enchanting cycles of dying and being born over and over again through the womb of a Mother, to be able to choose to come and go at her own leisure without any attachment to form and yet owning its physics inside out, outside in. 

It was a great moment of celebration, this reaching of the afore mentioned crossroad. This time She would come in with a very specific set of special powers - gifts, one could say - in order to ensure that She would manage to pull off her final stunt as a reincarnating earthling.

Amongst those special gifts, Aeelah brought along companions who would support her and others She was meant to support, each one on their own unique journey but all meant to meet and touch each other’s hearts, like a hand from Heaven moving through a thin liquid mirror of illusion and igniting the beacon of one’s own Truth in the core of each cell.

Aeelah brought also qualities She would need and knew by now (after having been through so many lifetimes on Earth) would be essential, such as determination, perseverance, focus, lightheartedness, curiosity, innocence, resilience, intuition, clairvoyance, stubbornness (yes, that too was essential), creativity, generosity, entrepreneurship, inspiration, passion (which needed to be distilled into compassionate love), aliveness, trust, sociability, the openness of a visionary… And of course once She tapped into the qualities of her Soul: simplicity, grace, beauty, sweetness, flexibility, balance, harmony, serenity, clarity, wisdom, compassion, love, assertively, firmness, stability… Just to name a few of the most evident ones. 

Now we all know that for each quality, within the experience of duality, She would have to face its reverse - all of the reverses lived throughout her lifetimes… the so-called dreaded Dark Side. And it was mighty. Indeed, it was. That’s why She made sure to bring in the people, emotions, opportunities, creations that would trigger her into enough pain, despair, loneliness and abandonment, helplessness, hopelessness, powerlessness, sadness, confusion, grief, depression, anxiety, anger… that the inner lightbulb would go on when all of the alarms were unbearably loud and She would say: “Enough”! An “Enough” so firm, there would be no turning back, no mistaking its cue.

A rollercoaster ride, some call it. She was more into calling it a volcano, a tsunami, an earthquake and other natural catastrophes that tend to destroy and annihilate all that was, for something new to come forth. 

Fast forward, there came a time when She collapsed into One, an eruption of consciousness so strong and staggering within her, that the fears Aeelah had known exploded into smithereens and left a trail blaze of silence. A silence so profound that only Love could be known, the pure diamond in the rock of Illusion. 

Hereafter a completely new journey ensued, requiring everything but physical death, liberating her from the path of suffering into an endless landscape of conscious explorations, infused by compassion, sprinkled with joyful bliss and laced with the innocent outlook of a Human that does not need to know because She knows herself to be a facet and surrenders in each breath to the experience of being Divine through that very same humanness that once felt separate.

She had had many ideas about Mastery. Enlightenment. Transcendence. Realization. Sovereignty. And all of those She had to throw into her inner compost heap, as most of it was absolutely as far from the actual experience of these landmarks, as the Earth is from Farout (a recently discovered planet that is on the outermost reaches of the Solar System… :))

You see, the thing is that in this lifetime She had not chosen to be a monk, priest, priestess or nun. She had not chosen to live in a monastery of any kind, or go and dwell up in the mountain peak in a cave, or into the deepest, densest forest. Nope. She had chosen to stay as regular as possible, in Human terms. Living in a regular home, with kids, a job or something like that, having to interact with society and be a part of what is commonly called mass consciousness without belonging to it or following its principles. She had chosen to create her own New Earth within the Old one, foregoing all manner of titles, ready-set methods, rules and beliefs generally related to what is called being Spiritual.

Actually She couldn’t be more practical, earth-bound and happily enjoying her Humanness from her inner Angel’s Peak, where She could compassionately smile and see through the foggy mists of illusion, finding her way even when She seemed to not know where to place her foot for the next step.

Now, one thing She soon discovered was that becoming One meant the natural activation of what might be called Superpowers but which are in fact the normalcy of being Whole. And this, in turn, had its challenges when interacting with other fellow Humans who had not yet realised they too had a special set of Superpowers, mainly for fear of facing and embracing the dreaded Dark Side within themselves. So there were those who could not stand her Presence and those who couldn’t get enough of it, but invariably all were somehow triggered by the catalyst spark of her frequency - the frequency of Wholeness beyond Separation. 

People’s most hidden, deepest and most wounded Aspects tended to come to see who She was and thus stirred emotions in them which they had not been aware of… And sometimes people wanted to find out more about these emotions, but others they would resist valiantly.

Apparently it was a part of her special skills set, the one She had brought in with her as supportive luggage. She had thought it to be an amazing gift - that by shedding light over the darkness, She herself and as a consequence all of those who came close enough to her, would finally embrace all which had been rejected and unloved and hence become more of the Ocean and less of the droplets, more of the Soul and less of the Persona, one breath at a time. 

Oh so simple it had seemed, and actually was, when allowed. However it also meant people often coming close and then not being able to stay. Which was ultimately ok, as One can only stay with Oneself, but sometimes it presented some sad instances of goodbye which could very easily have been the opposite, if only the Human had willingly chosen to receive the greatest Love of all from within themselves in each moment that fear seemed to be louder. 

Another gift was the actual gift of giving! Yes, well, Aeelah knew that one only gets what one already has and that approaching life from an inner space of abundance, hence generosity, naturally and effortlessly generates abundance from what seems to be the outside landscape, but which we all know is nothing but one’s radiance reflected. 

Before She ever remembered She was unlimited, her giving was there, of course - as it is her nature - but the receiving was shut down… Only until She realised She had to receive herself fully. The Dark. The Light. The Grey. All of the colours of her then still closed wings. 

Another thing had been that the cause of her being shut down to receiving had lead to the effect of attracting many “takers” - what we usually call abusers. Which was absolutely necessary and perfect, of course. How else could she have been aware of her own abusive patterns? These were also part of the “others” she had brought along in her luggage, to ensure she finally got it this time over. 

Receiving had seemed scary as it always seemed to imply conditions. The belief that no one gives anything without expecting something in return - which had been her experience many times - generated a fair amount of protectiveness, until She started really looking at what She expected in return for her giving.

She realised She had grown up lacking love, attention and acknowledgement and this was what She sought for outside of herself. Only until She became aware that the only thing these unloved parts of her wanted, was her own love, attention and acknowledgement! Phew! That made it so much easier!

What ensued was her becoming an infinite wellspring of abundance. A gift that keeps on giving because… Well, simply because She dwells in the receptive womb of grace. Safe, at peace and in love. 

There was only one little challenge with being the very gift that keeps on giving. In practical terms, and since most Humans had and have their own issues around receiving themselves fully back Home, in other words, facing their darkest recesses, as long as there is a sense of lack, of “not enoughness” within, the proverbial unworthiness so characteristic of Separation, people tended to feel overwhelmed with her generously abundant Presence, especially as they got closer. 

There is this inner nagging of not knowing how to receive so much, of not being able to match it, of not being quite sure whether to trust that She is not really needing anything from them - She is just that: infinite abundance. As each one of them is also. And this - this is what really scares people away. Acknowledging their wholeness as they collapse in sweet surrender into All that they Are. This is the real gift of her Presence. And it can only be received within oneself as their own bounty is received, one breath at a time.

While considering this superpower as an essential part of her transcendence toolkit for this lifetime, there had been no doubt that it presented in and of itself the ticket to freedom from illusion. And as it would serve her, it would naturally serve all that came her way as they ultimately were a part of her in her creation just as She was a part of them in their own realities. A definite foolproof guarantee of safe-conduct back Home. 

This meant, however, that only those willing to activate and live by their own superpowers would ever stay in her vicinity. 

Hence, a lot of coming and going was a common experience for her. Many moved in and then out again after a while, staying for as long as they could endure the realisation of their own grandness, the compassion of their own Essence. 

But seductive as it is, separation kept on knocking at their door and very often it won precedence over reunion within. Just one more ride. Just one more venture into seeking for more out there. Into not being enough.

And She stayed. Watching the revolving doors of her flow, as the many moved out and the few stayed… Periodically renewed. 

The path of a Master is walked alone. All One. Below as above. Realising in Human terms, in the midst of the world of form, that it’s not about who comes or goes, who stays or leaves. It is about always and inevitably remaining the gift that keeps on giving.