Living with no Ceilings

 Jasmin had decided to offer herself a delicious afternoon by the sea. It was a windy spring day with the sun’s sweetness warming the heart and all she felt like was to stay. Just to stay and receive the airfilled comfort of an open landscape.

She had lately been feeling somewhat frightened around her irregular income and though she had more than enough reasons and constant proof that nothing was ever missing for her, this sort of mist tended to show up out of nowhere and fill her head with meaningless words, tightening up her chest. 

She felt perplexed and a bit irked at herself. If she knew full well that none of it was true, why did these fears still pop up and even more relevantly: why did she listen to them?

She could not explain why. Neither could she find a way of making it all disappear.

The thing is that even in her hardest moments, where there had seemed to be no way she could possibly pay her bills, the solution had appeared. It really had! And to this day she had never remained in debt with anyone. 

Actually her life was very abundant - “a rich woman’s life”, one could say. She had many free days where she could do whatever she wanted. She travelled to magnificent places, went to restaurants that offered exquisite dishes, watched incredible shows and participated in gratifying and productive activities, she was capable of providing for her children and offering them unforgettable experiences… nothing, absolutely nothing was missing.

Even when she had decided that divorce was the best solution for her frayed relationship, leaving home with her three children, she had never doubted her decision. And she had always made it, even without getting any child support from her ex-husband. Choosing not to go for empty wars over something that would resolve itself in its own time - and it did. She had always preferred her inner peace to worry or fight. 

Nevertheless, whenever her income became more irregular, on came the nonsense she was used to creating in her head. 

Working independently was a blessing and she did not consider looking for a job with a steady salary. She had made this choice over two decades ago and had always been able to navigate the river of change, adapting to each new phase with ease and openness.

In fact, if she looked back she could see she had always been a leader, even when she had worked for others. And yet it seemed like she had forgotten this leadership nature. And exemplary it was. Loving, compassionate, firm, sure, competent and trustworthy. 

Her lack of trust in herself was more like a game she didn’t get tired of, but a game it was. It had no real sustenance or sense. 

Jasmin knew she could not afford getting angry at herself. That would lead to inner conflict, for sure.

She knew she could not judge herself either. She also knew she did not want any of the scenarios she imagined and which never actually happened. She knew she was extremely skilled at her work and she performed it in a unique and unreproducible way. She was aware of the kind of life she had and knew what she wanted to keep on creating. So why did these mental sabotage trips keep on showing up?

Lying on the sand, comfortably leaning against a rock, breathing deeply into her belly, with her eyes closed, she was enjoying the warm light of this serene afternoon, when her Essence brought forth a question for her:

“Are you ready to live without any ceilings?”

She looked at that and felt what it meant. Living without a ceiling.

And her Essence went on:

“Now that you have firm ground within you, now that the Divine that I Am and the Human that You Are form one whole, in this body that allows us to experience this dimension, the only thing that remains is for you to allow the ceiling of your fears to dissipate.” She paused.

And then continued: “open your eyes and look down there. Do you see those soft transparent clouds on the horizon? Thus is your ceiling. It will eventually dissolve with the winds of conscious awareness. But if you feel ready to choose to live without a ceiling right now, you can make that dilution even simpler.” She gave her time to assimilate.

“The truth is that it is going to happen anyway, for from where you are at right now there is nowhere else to go. No other way. But it can be fluid and peaceful… or uncomfortable. At this point it is not even about you having to exert your Free Will, for you have already chosen a while ago that what you really wanted was to Be.  To be One within. One with me. Complete surrender. And by making that choice, you have chosen your path.” Silence.

“I am going to ask you something else.

Are you ready to take the forefront of your life, on this path that is unique unto you and that no one else can walk like you or for you? Are you ready to be the living example of this? Ready to stop being a follower and assume yourself as a pioneer?”

Jasmin shuddered. She knew she was. She was ready. That what she had to offer to the world and to herself was unique, as was that which each one had to be, express and share. No two paths were the same, no two examples identical, no two ways could be compared. We do try and compare, that we do. But they are incomparable.

 

Being the example. She reflected. So being an example is not even something for someone else to follow, because everyone has their own example to discover and be in their own uniqueness. The example serves the sole purpose of reflecting authenticity. Coherence. Balance. Harmony. It is not relative to what one thinks, says or does. It is relative to what one Is. Being whole is the example. Stable on one’s own ground and living without a ceiling that can limit our expansion.

“We are all One. We are all one thing expressing itself through a vast multitude of experiences.”

And she understood. Jasmin finally understood this affirmation “We Are All One”. Each One is One within Oneself and in One’s Divine Essence, is One with All. Only One Nature. There is no separation. Multiple expressions through multiple experiences. The expression of each experience seems separate but the ocean is the same, as was the one Jasmin was looking at in front of her in this very moment, wave upon wave dissolving into the sand and then going back to being the ocean all over again.

It is in being the example of one’s unique journey, being a pioneer, the leader of one’s own adventure of discovery of all one can Be, that resides simultaneously what sets us apart and what unites us. And each one is a combination of different experiences in themselves and as a whole, which leads to no two same expressions of whatever one is and no equal way of viewing oneself in them.

“Yes, I am ready. I don’t want to believe that I am not enough any more. That I am incapable. That I am limited. That something is going to be missing. That I still don’t know what I do know. It’s enough!”

And Jasmin’s Essence radiated a loving embrace inside of her and reminded:

“There’s no point getting angry at yourself. Each time one of those thoughts you say you have no idea where they come from, comes to visit you, smile. Accept it with no fear of that fear that wants to convince you of itself. And with no further ado, let go of judging it, even of being fed up with it. Entertain yourself with love. Loving yourself. Loving me. Loving us. Living this love in all possible ways. Even in the complete acceptance of all of these thoughts. This is love. And they will lose their strength. And disappear into thin air like those clouds down there. Until one of these days, without having a clue how, they will stop coming to you altogether. Do you think you will miss them, maybe?”

Jasmin’s Essence sure had a sense of humour. And Jasmin laughed out loud. And laughed even more. She laughed about everything she was afraid of and knew not to be true. And also about her irritation. And of her games and smallness and insecurities. She laughed wholeheartedly and with passionate abandon. Light and boundless. With no ceiling.

Hmmm it felt so good to feel her Essence. Stable. Secure. Loving. Soft. Firm. Compassionate. Peaceful. And hilarious.

“We are sensations”.

She whispered in-between the laughter. And Jasmin felt goosebumps all over her body. Grateful to have it, this body where everything could be felt.

Of course she was ready! Ready to really completely trust. Unconditionally.

Once cannot but be ready when having landed fully in the body that houses the Spirit of all things. This body on this Earth for the purpose of this experience of reunion beyond duality within polarity.

The ceilings were necessary only whilst she had been like a balloon with no ground, floating in and out of this reality, always afraid of losing her ground whenever her Essence came closer and afraid of staying so as not to get caught, emprisoned, lost from herself, she thought. 

Now she knew that the fear of losing ground through the intensity of accepting her Soul into her Humanness, resided in not being here completely, merged - a Divine Human merged into physicality, experiencing all dimensions through expression, creation and expansion. Integrating it all here and now, being it all into infinity. Living it in Time and Space to realise timelessness. Being form to realise formlessness. Allowing the apparent limitation of a body to realise one’s unlimited nature. 

Just perfect. It had all been perfect. Was perfect and could not cease to be perfect.

And she was ready. She Is.