Becoming...

 Becoming…

Long gone are the days when the warmth of mommy eagle sitting over what seemed to be but an egg, eventually produced me. 

That day when I broke the surface of the warm shell that had been my home because I simply could no longer fit in there, was such a joyful discovery of “oh! There is more!”

There were 2 others like me, plus mommy and daddy who were gigantic! Invincible! And I knew that that was who I was to become though from my tiny point of view it sure seemed like a hell of an achievement to ever be that grand, majestic bird gliding across the infinite sky. 

Our nest was perched up so high that from our point of view, the closest thing there was was sky, sky and more sky and then, far off on the horizon there was land.

Well you know, one day, while mommy and daddy eagle were out doing whatever they did which resulted in them bringing us yummy chunks of goodness to gulp down, one day I got a little bit adventurous and slowly inched towards the edge of the nest, cause I was so darn curious I just needed to know what on earth was under our home!

Blimey!!! I got a heck of a fright! We were perched up so high that the ground down below seemed absolutely too far away to fathom! I realized then and there that the only way to get out of our nest, eventually, was to fly! I gave myself a bit of a head start by flapping my wings as hard as I could to see if anything happened. Nope. I was still firmly riveted to the inside of our nest. I tried over and over again until I got exhausted and just collapsed into a frustrated slumber. I dreamt of big wings and air currents and I even had a bit of a nightmare when the wings in my dream stopped functioning! But fortunately mum and dad had been on their way home and had grabbed me… in my dream, so I turned out to be safe.

My brother and sister didn’t seem to be interested in this flying thing as much as I was. They were just ok with the way things were right now and couldn’t be bothered to want to know more. They knew that things would take their own course and whatever were to happen would happen in its own time.

I envied their attitude and yet I could not bring myself to let go of the expectation. Not now that I had seen what was down below. Maybe they were at ease because they had not ventured to the edge. The thing is that now I knew, I could not make myself not know.

Anyway. The days went by and we grew bigger and bigger. Mommy and daddy came and went as they pleased and brought us delicious yummies which were received with gleeful chirping delight.

Our fur morphed into feathers and the space in our previously huge nest was now quite confined.

The day starts dawning and the big red ball of warmth starts rising but today mommy and daddy are not going anywhere. Today they are pushing us out. Whoa!!!! Mommy flies out and then back and coaxes me to perch on the very outermost edge of the nest until I cannot but lose my balance! And I do! And that’s when, as I start plummeting to the ground down below, I remember “flap your wings! Flap your wings”. I close my eyes, take a deep breath and flap my now much larger wings. Lo and behold! Wait a minute!!! It’s not about making an effort! It’s about opening them wide and allowing the breeze to hold them up. All of a sudden a thousand lights switch on inside and I realise what I have always known but was not ready for it until now! It is so simple! So simple! “I’m flying! I’m flying!!!! Look at me! Yeeeeee” Nothing else matters. There is just this now. Just this gliding, this discovering what my wings can do, how to blend with the sky, becoming an Eagle. This that I was always meant to be. 

I recall my small self trying desperately to accelerate what was not yet ripe, my eagerness and my frustration, my effort to achieve that which I already was but was not patient enough to allow it to unfold in its own time. My curiosity was a gift and a curse at the same time. But all in all it worked out just fine because there is no way to not become what one already is!!!

 

Text by T. C. Aeelah