Attention!!! Attention!!!

Attention!!! Attention!!!

The dynamics of energy exchange is a fascinating maze.

We have come to develop such intricate ways of “extorting” energy from each other that some are so subtle as to be almost imperceptible.

One of them is the vast realm of Attention. What is amazing to me is how the very same thing that can denote total Presence is also the one that can denote total Absence.

What do I mean?

Attention seeking strategies such as drama based patterns of victimhood, arguments and violence in general, sexually seductive strategies and the like are effective ways of “Energy Stealing” or “feeding” as it is also called. By grasping one’s attention, the “feeder” manages to remove huge amounts of “tasty” energy from the one who is drawn into this very enchanting ego trap. One is caught by the need to be nice, the need to help, the need to fulfill different types of necessities such as recognition, power, control…

Once we become aware of the dynamics of “energy feeding” and start to refuse to participate in the game, either by not allowing ourselves to be “fed” on, or by not doing it ourselves, we tend to let our attention wander whenever it is sought by someone.

The drawback of this effective defense mechanism is that it becomes addictive. In other words, we get used to letting our attention wander elsewhere, which makes it hard to remain fully Present even when our attention is required for our own benefit, or has a genuine benefit for our interlocutor.

This kind of dispersion mechanism, doesn’t always serve our best interest, though it was created with that purpose . It works as an automatic trigger, by not allowing our energy to be “taken” even when we are unaware that it might be happening. We have devised a way to let our attention wander easily, lest we get caught in a compromising energy feeding situation, even when it isn’t.

Awareness is the key. If we are constantly aware, therefore Present, there is no need for automatic defense strategies. We take it as it comes. This means that when we actually need to pay attention, we do. And this saves us a huge amount of energy, rather than removing it. Why? Because if we pay attention to something that we are learning for example, and listen carefully the first time over we save ourselves the energy of having to listen to the same thing again, and we save the other person from having to spend yet more energy to explain it all over again as well!

So next time you ask for some information or are in a learning situation, or even when you are talking to someone about whatever subject, do yourself a huge favour: pay attention! Listen. Really listen. Feel. Sense. Be aware. Be fully Present. Be fully in the moment. Be fully there. Then it will be easy to withdraw from a potentially “needy feedy” situation by conscious choice, and on the other hand, if you are fully there, there is nothing to steal from you! You are totally available, not to be fed on, but just to BE, in which case there is nothing to take because you are giving yourself entirely to your Presence in the Now moment, wherever you are. In this case, the feeling of Compassion is so complete that you will not be able to disrespect yourself in any way, be it by letting your energy be removed inadvertently, or by removing from another. You don’t need it anyway, because when you are fully Present you have everything you could possibly need.

Yes, because when you keep on asking the same things repeatedly you are the one who is feeding on someone else’s energy, and wasting yours in the process as well!

It is only with full Presence, full Attention, that you can be of any real help to anyone else as well. The simple fact that you are fully there opens up a whole new window of awareness for the actual interaction to proceed from a completely different standpoint, leading to a creative energy exchange rather than an “energy feeding” game.

So next time you are being spoken to don’t pretend you’re listening: listen! If it is a waste of energy you will feel it instantly and by being totally honest you can simply withdraw from the situation, in any appropriate way. It will be a valuable favour for both because by not allowing “energy feeding” to go on you break a pattern not only for you, but you also create a new potential for others, and especially for your interlocutor. So in fact sometimes being nice is more of problem than a solution. Being transparent goes way further than nice. And being transparent requires awareness, Presence, Compassion, YOU, fully.

Since I’m at it, I might as well also mention: please listen to what the other person in saying, not to what you assume he/she is saying. Yes, to a certain extent we all listen from a biased standpoint, according to the filter of our values and beliefs. Then again, if you are fully Present and Aware, it is possible to reduce those filters to a bare minimum and become available to just listen, with no assumptions. This allows communication to flow naturally and effortlessly both ways – this is a creative energy exchange. If, by any chance you realise that what the other is saying serves the sole purpose of “energy feeding” then you are free to choose not to listen anymore by removing yourself entirely from the other person’s presence, honestly putting an end to your interlocution. But until you clearly come to this conclusion, listen. Really listen.

I used to have the unnerving habit of interrupting people before they had finished saying what they had to say, by jumping to the conclusion of what they were about to say. This served as a defense mechanism on my part, supposedly reducing the energy that was being taken from me through my attention. In fact it resulted in the opposite. Not only did the person lose their train of thought, making them have to search for what they were about to say, keeping me waiting for it, therefore still giving my attention, but it also created a sort of friction in the interaction, not allowing it to flow. A waste of energy on both sides.

Ever since I have chosen to release this habit and give my full attention to the situation at hand, I have become much more energy efficient and have discovered how easy it is to communicate when we are fully Present. Not only do I retain what is being said, but I also effectively choose whether to stay in an interaction that is productive both ways, or to remove myself from it with no energy waste.

Needless to say that since I am no longer dependent on anyone’s energy to sustain myself, I do not have people “feeding” off of my energy either. I simply do not attract them into my Presence.

Paying attention is a win win choice of PRESENCE.

I challenge you to realise: are you paying attention? Are you fully Present in all of your interactions?