I have decided to look up the following words in the dictionary (the definitions are from the Purnell’s Family Dictionary):
Moral weakness; immoral conduct, depravity.
Settled tendency or practice; bodily or mental make up, constitution; automatic response to specific situation, acquired normally by repetition and learning.
Force, constraint, coercion; an irresistible urge to do something.
Implying compulsion (from Latin compellere – to drive, force).
To devote oneself to something, often excessively; to form an almost unbreakable habit (from Latin: addicere – to devote to).
The thing is I have come to the conclusion that we all live this sort of repetitive pattern, which is compulsive, almost like an uncontrollable need in a given area (or several) of our lives – it doesn’t really matter what word we choose to define this. It also doesn’t really matter that at first glance you seem not to have any sort of compulsion at all. But you do, for sure, either in a clearer or a more subtle way, it’s there.
What for? Well, each person will have to see which purpose their compulsive habits serve. But, you know, in general the purpose is the same: to keep us entertained and submitted to something that is more powerful than us, supposedly. While we still believe that we are not capable of transforming that compulsive habit (that’s how I chose to call it, nevertheless you can name it as you wish), we live under its command. And what happens is that we occupy much of our time/space and eventually money, in other words ENERGY, on that very same addiction. The funny thing is that it is ours! It can’t be more powerful than us because it is a part of us! It isn’t someone or something that makes us stay in that fixed pattern. It is a part of us that manipulates us towards staying attached to it, not letting us see beyond that. They are very stubborn parts of ours, that’s for sure! And resistant too!
If we have them it is because we are equally stubborn and resistant, though! We are also equally capable of converting this energy we use otherwise. Instead of validating those compulsive habits, why not use the energy in a creative, non-compulsive way? The problem is that when we finally manage to remove all of those compulsive habits from our lives, a lot of free space is left vacant, as well as a lot of free time. So we become worried, because we have been programmed to fill up that which is vacant! Therefore we quickly fill up that space and time, by creating yet another compulsive habit to substitute the last one. And we do it fast, because all of that freedom makes us itchy! Or might you choose to finally allow yourself to feel how it is to have free space in your life, free time in your life, more than enough money… What then? The THEN just happens in its own moment!
What do I call compulsive habits? There are many, and I could never manage to mention all of them, but here are a few examples for you to gain perspective of the issue:
Tobacco, alcohol, coffee, marijuana, dope, amphetamines, LSD, cocaine and all of the drugs that you can possibly remember and which you might feel compulsively addicted to; sex, medicine, illnesses, depression, stress, anxiety, worry, debt, food, sweets, not eating, exercise, weight control, cleanliness, tidiness, work, family, noise, television, computer, internet, games (it is peculiar that I might mention games here, because in fact addictions are all games we play!), seeking something, stealing, courses, education and knowledge, shopping, films, drama, business, lies, football and other sports, animals, plants, analysis, research, questioning, activism, fighting for a cause… and so many other things. To sum up, everything that you do because you feel compulsively drawn to it, and which somehow takes up more of your time/space and/or Money than you feel would be comfortable for you. That with which you keep entertained, I would say, but which makes you feel guilty, or on the other hand you actually like but don’t know what purpose it serves. And I enhance that for you it is not clearly an entertainment, you generally aren’t aware of it. Everything that makes you feel fed up, powerless, incapable of changing or letting go of. All of that which is based on a belief that you have learnt but have never questioned, and which makes you do, say or be in a way that you feel is not really you or your will. All that you do out of need. All that is just because it has to be. All that makes you feel “more” or “less” than what you truly are. All that is because it is correct. All that is because you would not know how to live any other way.
Now feel. Take a deep breath, quieten your mind and focus on one of your compulsive habits, one of those you would like to change but you feel is stronger than you. If you remove it from your reality, feel how much space is freed… how much time becomes available… and eventually how much money is left. Feel how much power you gain over your rebellious parts J Does it scare you to have so much free space and time, so much money available, so much self-responsibility?
I is, in fact, a paradox, because we keep on saying we want peace, we want to be happy, we want love in our lives, we want serenity, we want harmony, we want balance, we want and want and want… But if we take o good look at what we really have, the truth is that all of that which we want is already there. The only difference between what is and what seems to be is that it is all being used in an inefficient manner, mostly in the opposite direction of what we say we want… Is it truly peace that we want? Do we really want to be happy? Honestly? What are we going to do when we finally have all of that we say we want? It seems like we are plunged into a void we do not have a clue how to fill up. The part of us that does know what it is to be peace, love, joy, serenity, prosperity, harmony, balance… FREEDOM – that part of us is not our thinking part. The thinking part is precisely the one that creates our addictions and compulsions. The one that knows all about who we truly are is our Essence. This is the part of us that is beyond thought. It is the part we can access through intuition and feeling – in other words, through the “heart”. Nevertheless, we have never given it much time or space to express itself and show us a new way to live, beyond compulsion, repetition, habit. A new life one step at a time, moment to moment, that fills itself on its own, just like our breath. A new life that creates and recreates itself with no attachment to what we know, without addictions or uncontrollable needs. A simple life that is completely abundant and fulfilling.
The question is: do you still need your compulsive habits? Are those experiences still satisfying you in a productive way? What are your beliefs about simplicity?
After reviewing these questions, and only if you feel it is appropriate for you, choose again. There is no big mystery in this. It is very simple. That’s why the complicated parts find it hard to deal with simplicity. It is not an entertainment. It is simply simple!
It is also evident that we can only release an addiction / compulsory habit, when the inner impulse is sufficiently strong. When the “ENOUGH!” is sufficiently true and convincing to yourself! When the choice is firm and confident! When you assume total responsibility over yourself! It is a sort of inner click that makes you shift gear and all of a sudden you see everything with utter clarity and you ask yourself why on earth you still have that habit, and you even laugh at yourself, very naturally, with no hurt or judgment, not running away from the evidence any longer. It is not being fed up. None of that.
Feeling fed up only validates the compulsive habit. It gives it strength to prove that it is stronger than your being fed up of it, than your anger towards it, than your will to exterminate it. Being fed up keeps you struggling. It also keeps you in the game, fighting against something you don’t want but which you still feel is stronger than your truth. And you fight and fight and fight. Phew! You sure spend a load of energy with all of that fighting! Being fed up is still a denial of yourself, a state of non-acceptance – an unloving state. The click happens when you accept you have that compulsive habit, accepting you have had lots of fun with it, that it has served some sort of useful purpose up to now and deciding that it no longer serves you. No fighting. No guilt. No hurt. With gratitude. With lightness. With SIMPLICITY!!! Then no hypnosis can control you.
Yes, a compulsive habit is a sort of self induced hypnosis. That’s why clinical hypnosis works so well to change habits. It also places another kind of trigger in you, though. This is a trigger that directly opposes the habit, eventually eliminating it. But it does so by making you feel bad about your habit, feeling that it hurts you, that you have to release that habit because it has become uncomfortable. Nothing wrong with this. What I suggest here, though, is that you assume your own power! No need for triggers to make you release what you have already decided you don’t need. What I propose is that you take a look at yourself with complete honesty and transparence, that you see if that habit still serves you, and that you recognize how it has served you so far. I suggest that you choose what you want. That you release because it is your conscious choice, because that game has come to an end, because it is no longer fun for you, because you want to have that energy available to use in a creative way, to live assuming your life, your power, your reality, your world! In the end it’s only just you with yourself because all in all your compulsive habits are yours! Yes, you may have “support” from others to keep these habits active, but it is you who decides whether you still want to play with them. And when you release the game, those people who played it with you will just have to look for someone else they can play with.
After you let go of the so called addiction, you can choose to enjoy it whenever you feel like it, not by compulsion or need, and not out of fear of being sucked into the addiction all over again. Why would you? Is that your choice?
Choose and let it happen by its own accord; just because you have chosen – no more “efforting” and fighting against it… Cooperate with your true will, no longer fighting against what you consider is going against your will. Trust your natural innate ability to simply let go of the addiction – effortlessly.
There’s no way you can be smaller that yourself! Actually, what scares you is your grandness because all of that vacant space, all of that time, is energy that becomes available for your expanded consciousness to take root, and it is indeed veeeeeeeeeeery ample. And poof! The game of smallness disappears J
What are your addictions / compulsive habits? Try and reply without thinking. Just let the answers occur to you all of a sudden.
What purpose do they serve?
Do you still need your compulsive habits? Do those experiences still fulfill and satisfy you in any productive way?
If you remove them from your life, does it scare you to have so much free space, free time and available money?
What are your beliefs about simplicity?
What do you choose for yourself from now on?